What not to tell people with Phobia’s (and WHAT to tell them too)

Recently I’ve encountered a phobia – spiders. They are my worst nightmare. I can deal with small ones, as long as I don’t touch them. I can deal with them if I can just run water over them and wait till they go down the plug hole. But I can not deal with them, when they’re BIG and they crawl out from the side of my bed. Na-uh.

After crying for well over an hour, I finally managed to throw it out my window.

Now I’m shaking, my heart feels like it’s shivering in my chest with fear, I thought I’d write a list on what not to tell people with phobia’s.

Don’t

Tell them to….

“get a grip” – something that doesn’t help with phobia’s. We know we have to get a grip, it’s called a fear or a phobia for a reason. We have NO choice in the matter, how is saying this helping in the slightest?

“suck it up” – seriously, this is just as bad as ‘get a grip’.

“grow up” – Fully grown adults have phobia’s. Someone I know at work, who is the same age as my mum, is deadly scared of spiders, she can’t go near them, she has to get somebody else to check cupboards for her. She hates them. I also know a woman on facebook who, if she sees a spider, even a picture, she goes into full on shock and has panic attacks.

“just get over it” – if it was that simple don’t you think the person would’ve done it already? Do you think the person chose to be afraid of something? No.

Do

Encourage them – one thing that helped me catch my spider and throw it out the window was my friends online, all of them telling me that ‘you can do this’. Not one of them told me my fear was irrational, not one of them told me that I was wrong for having the fear.

Have patience – It took me over an hour to face my fear, and my friends had patience. If they had just been completely blunt and rushed me, I probably would’ve been staring at my wall for three hours.

Tell them to take deep breath’s – seriously this is a saviour. Taking deep breaths gives us time to chill, think, give us head space and a chance to act.

and finally

once they’ve achieved their goal, acknowledge it. And if they don’t achieve their goal, just help them out a little. There’s nothing wrong with getting help in facing your fear, especially if it’s the right help.

That’s today’s daily blog, if you guys have any more tips or advice for phobia’s or fears, let me know and I’ll add them to the list, with credit. Blogging 101 stuff I shall continue on Monday.

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