Sunday Rambles #4 – Fan-Girl Denial

Happy Sunday folks!

Rambles #4 kinda happened yesterday didn’t it? And the day before that…and the day before that. But you guys seem to be liking this, so I’m just gonna roll with it.

So this past week I’ve been doing some thinking about fan-girls, and fandoms in general. And it came to my attention that I hated being branded as a fan-girl.

Wait a minute.

That may sound straight up rude and weird, but just work with me here.

Why did I hate it? Because most of the time when you say “ugh I’m such a fan-girl” to a complete stranger, or someone who has no passion for TV Shows, they just look at you like you’re a lunatic, and make you feel like it’s something to be embarrassed about. Then naturally, in response, I’d flush a dark red and just sort of cough it out as if my words were never said and I was momentarily possessed to say it.

For a long time this would continue, and I’d hate branding myself as a fan-girl. I’d used to be like “yeah I love the show Supernatural, don’t get me wrong. I go to conventions. But I’m not a huge fan-girl of it” (LOL).

I used to surround myself with those people that would frown upon fan-girlism (is that a thing?) at an attempt to feel “accepted”, or “normal”.¬†When in actuality I was already “normal”, as normal as I can be. And who wants to be normal anyway? Normal’s boring.

Being a fan-girl is something that’s fun, and keeps the passion flaring to do creative art, writing, or vlogs. Is that a bad thing? No. Is that something I should be ashamed/embarrassed about? No.

Fan-girling is fun, and reminds the world that there are good things out there. So yeah. No more shall I brand myself as someone who isn’t a fan-girl, I’m a huge fan-girl, loud and proud. Praise it! And if you’re a fan-girl (or guy) too sing it to the top of the roof.

Okay that last sentence was cheesey, I’ma go now.

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! – Sunday Rambles #3

Recently I’ve been having sort of a lapse, with, well everything. And motivating myself has been a challenge. The most motivation I’ve managed to muster up is to lose myself in the internet and watch almost every single cosplay video out there whilst thinking how they achieved this, with how many people, and ahhgkrjljrld everywhere.

Even this blog post is slaying me right now.

I’m questioning everything I’m doing, including these blogs and college work and vlogs. Not questioning them as in ‘do I really want to be doing this?’, but as in ‘That’s a crap idea, no-one’s going to want to like that’.

SO IT’S TIME TO TAKE A STEP BACK.

I did some meditation today, which involved inhaling a candle that smelt like Margarita. hmmm. (Wow why did I just type that). And I think it’s helped to clear my head a little. I need to step back to basics, and just go with the flow. I’m starting to get too caught up on what people will think about things that I publish, and really I need to stop giving a flying f***.

But I guess we can all be guilty of that right? We get too wrapped up in people’s opinions and then just end up sitting there numb because we’re worried that we’ll make the wrong move.

I can’t remember where I read it, but I remember the quote, it was from someone quite well known, he basically said that all his life his father was always too scared to make a decision so he played it safe, he kept the job that he hated because it got him regular income and it felt secure, a couple years down the line the company had to let him go, he lost his job and he lost money and that feeling of being secure. So it just goes to show that even when you play it safe things can go wrong, and if there’s an equal chance that things can go wrong when taking a risk, then why not take a risk and think screw it?

Don’t give a crap what people think. There’s always going to be someone out there who will laugh at you, or not like you, or think what you’re doing is stupid. Don’t focus on them. Focus on you. What you want. What makes you happy.

Thanks for reading bromigo’s, and thanks for being a listening ear.

 

Sunday Rambles #2 – January Blues

Olla bromigos

For those of you that don’t know what Sunday Rambles is, it’s basically the day of the week where I just let out any thoughts and feelings that I have, a dedicated day where I don’t schedule any topic, and just write about the first thing that comes to mind.

Today, that’s January Blues.

I’ve been hit with it. It’s all very well trying to stay motivated all the time, but sometimes I just feel down for no damn reason, and I guess this is the part where I say I suffer from mild-depression, so yeah, that’s a thing.

I started out on this blog, wanting it to be a positive place, one where people can feel inspired and motivated. But I feel today that I have to say that balance is key, I believe that a lot, that’s why a lot of the time I’ll write that it’s okay to not be okay. You’re allowed to feel whatever you want. And if that’s sad, or down, or whatever you want to call it, then feel it. It’s human.

Just don’t wallow in it.

After 24 hours of beating myself up over things that were out of my control, my parents took me out to dinner, and we did a pub quiz together, and came 11th out of 16?? I don’t know for sure, but at least we weren’t last! Then I spent the past day and a half just doing what I wanted. And for me that was dressing like a slob, and binge watching Netflix.

I mean it was kind of productive, I finished Jessica Jones (AMAZING SERIES), and continued watching Reign, which I’m still in two minds about.

But other than that I kind of just wanted to sit, for a while. I guess in the new year I’ve just been moving so fast, with college, finding a job, blogging and YouTube, that I forget to just sit. It’s good to be productive, don’t get me wrong, it feels great. We do all need, though, to be able to breathe and just ‘be’. There’s nothing wrong with that.

So my Sunday Ramble Request (yeah I just made a new thing up), is for everyone to just take some time out, chill, and treat yourself. Do something that requires little to no energy, and relaxxx.

 

Sunday Rambles #1 – My Mind Palace

SO MUCH IS HAPPENING IN MY MIND.

I’m not even kidding.

When 2016 arrived I thought I’d got my plans pretty much laid out, and I had. I have my blogging schedule, my vlogging schedule, as well as a few special video ideas that I had planned. My first vlog is happening this coming Thursday with a montage and a few spoilers for what’s to come this year, and I thought that my head would be a lot clearer because I’m being so damn organised. (I know right? I must be sick)

But no.

No.

Now my head is spiralling and I just keep getting more and more ideas and my creativity levels are at an all time high and I’d be lying if I said I DIDN’T LOVE IT.

Side note: This is what being on crack must feel like.

Anywhoooo right now I have FanFiction ideas, novel ideas, vlog ideas, filming ideas, college ideas, and my head is a spiral of a tornado and I’m just waiting to land.

I’m definitely not complaining, I just really wish that my thoughts would be a heck of a lot clearer. But on the other hand I guess that having a cold doesn’t help.

That’s right folks, I saw the back of 2015 with a groggy cold, that’s still kinda here in 2016, so I guess that’s trying to block the creativity in my head.

Also I’m seeing the New Year in with unemployment, so I have a complete fresh start in 2016, and it’s another thing I have to process. I may only be 22, but I still have bills to pay, so it’s kind of scary to think that I’m not getting a fixed income right now. Plus I’ve not been unemployed since I was 16, that’s also scary.

But that’s what 2016 is all about right? EMBRACING CHANGE AND FEAR. AND HAVING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK. AND OVERCOMING INNER DEMONS.

So this weeks ramble is brought to you by my mind. And how right now on my list of things to do, other than this blog post, I need to:

  • Find a suitable day job.
  • Film another vlog
  • Finish scripting a short film
  • Start planning a short trailer for college
  • Also do college work
  • Find a healthier alternative to caffeine because tired
  • Reward self with chocolate afterwards

I already feel like my mind is clearer. Thanks for reading guys. And welcome to my mind palace…

….

See what I did there.

How’s your 2016 going so far? And if you have any advice on how to get a clearer mind, feel free to leave it in the comments below.

Until next time, catch ya later Bromigo’s.